One long river of thought

One long river of thought, one long path to the horizon

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It is important for me to repeat this

for it is my mantra:

music is my religion.

It ties together everything that I am.

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How do you explain what it is to be a musician,

to be an instrument of the song that plays

endlessly in the mind and the heart,

to be that vessel for the unnamed desire,

the unnamed thought,

the unnamed love

that exceeds even that of the other?

It is beyond my explaining

for only when that which I play is in my hands

can you understand,

if only you listen,

if only you listen.

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The horn was an extension of my soul,

life, breath, sound, vibration, intensity,

and all that I was in that moment 

sang through my lips and the brass

and shook the air,

cried through the air,

wailed, screamed, caressed the air

and in that place

I was one with the sounds,

the essence, the heart

of that greater thing,

that greater expanse,

that greater unnameable

that I could utter

with no mere words,

but only play.

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It is not enough to bare the flesh,

as vulnerable as that may make you seem,

but you must bare the soul

and tear the heart from your chest

so that the blood may run through your finger’s

like time’s water.